If your idea of a good time is curling up with a good book on the couch or watching your favorite show instead of brunching and clubbing, this one might be for you!
Those who like to be alone consider it a win when they go a whole day without talking to anyone. Generally, they tend to have deeper relationships with themselves and their pets than with other humans.
If you can relate, chances are you don’t feel the need to be validated by others, nor do you seek constant company to have someone to share thoughts with. And that isn’t a bad thing!
While the term “loner” has acquired certain negative connotations, it doesn’t mean that being one is in any way undesirable.
In fact, you are likely to have higher intelligence than your more outgoing counterparts. So, here are 11 surprising signs you’re dealing with loneliness.
Table of Contents
1. You’re a Very Private Person
Doesn’t matter what’s happening—you could have gotten the biggest job promotion of your life, or you might have been struggling with your start-up—no one would ever know.
You deal with the best and worst of times on your own, with no celebrations or consolations. What’s more, you don’t feel the need to share these moments either.
You might feel like it’s completely unnecessary or don’t want to spend your energy on things like that. Either way, you’re a private person and prefer to handle your affairs without dragging others into it.
2. You Like to Do Most Things by Yourself
Were you that kid in class who always preferred working alone? Did you always avoid group activities and projects?
Are you that person who sits alone in a coffee shop? Being alone can really give you perspective on things and help you get organized, which is likely why you enjoy doing things by yourself.
Most people would feel awkward or embarrassed being seen alone at the movies or a restaurant. But you feel empowered, free, and relaxed doing things solo.
3. You Aren’t Glued to Your Smartphone
In the age of social media and instant gratification, it’s hard for people to put their phones down. But not for you. The last thing you want to do is share the tiniest details of your life with the entire world.
So, whether you had an amazing pizza for lunch or are vacationing on an island, nobody would ever know.
You despise pointless phone calls and tiresome text messages, so you don’t call or text unless necessary, and social media is useless to you.
4. You’re Out of Reach for Long Periods of Time
Is your family used to you not answering your phone or dropping off the face of the earth?
It used to worry them not being able to speak to you for days or months on end, but they now understand that your ability to socialize has its limits.
You don’t feel so compelled to constantly stay in touch. If you aren’t picking up your phone, you’re likely recharging by doing something you like, whether it’s reading or doing art.
For you, learning and creating stuff is a much more useful way to spend your time than catching up on the latest family news.
5. You Prefer to Work as a Freelancer
One thing you would never put on your resume is “team player”! There is nothing more tedious to you than working with a bunch of people, which is why a 9-to-5 will never be for you.
The structures are too rigid, and you have to play by too many pointless rules. Let’s not even begin with office Christmas parties and signing those birthday cards.
You do your best work alone, where you’re in charge of the schedule and have 100 percent creative control.
6. You Don’t Like Going to Social Events
Why spend New Year’s in a group of drunk people yelling at the top of their lungs when you could easily spend the night on your own doing things you like?
Most of the time, you think of a social event as something that eats up your time. That’s because you value your time greatly and don’t like wasting it on something you don’t enjoy doing.
It doesn’t necessarily mean you hate hanging out with your friends. It just means you want the interaction to be meaningful and not a fleeting moment aided by booze.
7. Your Headphones Are Your Armor
Do you wear your headphones just so people won’t talk to you? You aren’t even listening to music most of the time. You want to keep strangers at bay.
To look unapproachable, you throw on a pair of headphones everywhere you go, whether it’s grocery shopping or just walking down the street.
It helps keep the world at a distance, making you feel more comfortable, both physically and spiritually.
8. You Don’t Like Sharing Your Bed with Anyone
While most people want that special someone to cuddle up with at night, you want your bed to yourself.
Sure, having someone is nice, but not at the expense of your personal space and duvet.
And besides, who wants to wake up to loud snoring or sleep-talking? You can’t take that risk. Sleep, just like alone time, is precious to you.
9. Drama Isn’t Your Thing
A lot of people can’t resist drama, and some even create it. But you can’t stand it and want no part of someone else’s either.
You aren’t theatrical in your storytelling—if you ever do tell a story—and you would never share a secret someone trusted you with.
Anything unnecessary or irrational, you make sure to stay far away from. And since you don’t like others meddling in your life, you try to interfere less in other people’s lives, too.
10. You Enjoy Traveling Solo
Most people travel with friends or family, or they may hire a tour guide to explore a new place. But not you.
There is something so appealing to you about being in a foreign land where nobody knows you.
The mystery and you’re free to do everything by yourself. Besides, traveling with others isn’t without its downfalls; there’s always someone who sleeps late, complains about walking too much, or wants to do something different.
You don’t see why you should make compromises when it’s your trip, especially when you paid for it. So, it’s easier to do things on your own and your way.
11. You’re Happiest Alone
You are most peaceful and content when you are by yourself. Whether that’s at home, in a coffee shop, in a library, or in a foreign land, you feel no pressure to impress or compromise.
Instead, you’re living life exactly as you please and aren’t concerned about what others might think. Your choices reflect your genuine self, and that is the essence of independence.
Unlike most people, loners truly enjoy being on their own. For you, alone time is a time to reflect, organize, set goals, and achieve them.
You do your best work alone, and you don’t worry about looking cool or impressing people with your lifestyle.
Not to say that being a loner is always easy, but you wouldn’t trade it in for the world. Everyone has the right to be who they are, and if you are happy with your life, there’s really no need to change a thing.
Conclusion:
Being a true lonelier isn’t about isolation—it’s about embracing independence, self-awareness, and authenticity. If you see yourself in these signs, you’ve already unlocked the power of solitude.
While society often equates happiness with constant connection, you’ve found fulfillment in your own company, turning what some might see as a weakness into your greatest strength.
From solo adventures to quiet moments of reflection, you thrive on your terms, free from the need for external validation.
So, the next time someone questions your love for solitude, remember: being a loner isn’t just who you are—it’s what makes you extraordinary. Here’s to the thinkers, dreamers, and doers who remind us that the most powerful connection is the one we have with ourselves. That’s why loneliness is your power.
Founder and CEO of Lifestyleflux.com, I bring years of expertise in self-improvement, wellness, and personal development to help you lead a happier, more balanced life. Through practical insights, eBooks, and consultations, I share actionable strategies rooted in experience and a passion for empowering others to unlock their full potential.