Have you ever walked away from an argument only to replay it in your head, overthinking every word you said—or worse, every mistake you made? You’re not alone. Even the most confident speakers can stumble when emotions run high, turning a simple debate into a cringe-worthy moment.
6 Argument Mistakes That Make You Look Foolish—whether you’re defending your point or just trying to keep the peace, these missteps can undermine your credibility in seconds. From derailing the conversation to letting frustration take over, avoiding these pitfalls will help you argue smarter, not harder.
Table of Contents
1. Stay on Topic
What’s more frustrating than arguing with someone who can’t stay on topic? Amateur debaters make this mistake all the time. They’re so focused on proving their opponent wrong that they derail the argument in all kinds of crazy directions.
Let’s say you and your friend are arguing about something historical, like the Romans. Your argument is that the Romans borrowed most of their artistic style from the Greeks, but your friend thinks the opposite. He says that the Romans were pioneers all on their own.
Obviously, you want to prove him wrong, so you do what any good debater would do: you find some evidence. You look up two statues, one Greek and one Roman, and compare them side by side. Sure enough, they look almost exactly the same. Doesn’t that prove your point?
It’s a pretty strong argument, and your friend probably knows that. But he still wants to win so that he might take the discussion in a completely different direction. For example, he might bring up how a Russian shuttle landed on the moon ten years before Apollo 11.
Does that mean the US didn’t accomplish anything just because the Soviet Union got there first? On the surface, it’s not the worst comparison. And if you’re not paying attention, you just might fall for it.
But his new example doesn’t really prove his side of the argument. All it does is change the subject—which makes it pretty obvious that he’s run out of things to say.
My point is that even if you feel like you’re losing an argument, make sure you stay on topic. Not only will you avoid embarrassing yourself, but you’ll also make the experience less frustrating for everyone involved.
2. Keep Cool
The most pointless arguments can kick up a lot of dust. Anytime people butt heads over something they’re passionate about, you can expect things to get heated—and that means you can also expect people to make mistakes.
The simple truth is that emotions make us reckless. They are powerful tools, but your emotions have a huge influence on your behavior. You might raise your voice, your language might get more aggressive and accusatory, and you’re more likely to say things you’ll regret.
So what’s the answer? Obviously, the best thing you can do is stay calm under pressure. But it’s harder than it sounds, especially when the argument starts to feel personal. Even the best debaters in the world get emotional when an argument hits too close to home.
So, what tricks can you use to keep yourself calm, cool, and collected?
Next time you feel yourself getting emotional, take a step back—not just mentally. Physically remove yourself from the situation in some way. Change where you’re sitting or standing, or take a second to get some water. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as it disrupts the flow of the conversation. Even a small change might be enough to snap you out of it.
Of course, you don’t always have the freedom to make a physical change. In that case, something as simple as relaxing your posture can also keep you calm. Don’t lean forward or start waving your hands at your opponent.
Sit back in your chair, loosen your shoulders, and keep your body from tensing up. This relaxed posture will throw off your opponent and stop your emotions from getting the best of you.
3. Admit You Don’t Know
In the midst of an argument, the last thing you want to do is admit defeat. But confessing that “you don’t know” or that “you aren’t sure” can stop you from making things a whole lot worse.
Imagine you’re arguing with someone about computers—maybe whether Macs are better than PCs. You two have been going at it for a while, so naturally, you’re starting to run out of points. But your opponent isn’t slowing down anytime soon, so you get desperate. Instead of giving in, you make something up.
In your head, it sounds like a good idea. But once the words come out of your mouth, you immediately realize how foolish you sound. You can’t take it back now—you can’t just pretend you didn’t say anything.
At this point, you basically have two choices: admit that you made something up or stick to your guns. Either way, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll end up embarrassing yourself.
So don’t set yourself up for failure. Don’t sabotage your own argument. If you’re out of things to say, it’s time to admit that you don’t know. I know how frustrating that sounds, but it’s not nearly as bad as you think.
In fact, saying “I don’t know” usually brings the argument to a sudden, unexpected conclusion—almost like saying, “We’ll just agree to disagree.” Even if you didn’t win the argument, you managed to escape without embarrassing yourself. And that’s not too shabby if you ask me.
4. Let Them Finish
During an argument, your mind is probably moving a million miles per hour. You’re thinking of new examples you can give or creative ways to prove your opponent wrong. And when your next great idea pops into your head, you can’t wait to let it loose on the battlefield.
So you do something countless debaters do regularly: instead of waiting for your opponent to finish, you just start talking. You interrupt, raise your voice, and expect your opponent to sit back and listen.
Sure, interrupting is a great way to get those swirling thoughts out of your brain—but that’s about all it’s good for. For starters, interrupting is just rude. How can you expect your opponent to have a civilized discussion with you when you won’t let them finish?
If you’re constantly bombarding them with new points, you’re not actually arguing with them—you’re just berating them. And that means anyone, including your opponent, will have a hard time taking you seriously.
But that’s not the only reason to keep your mouth shut. When you get in the habit of interrupting someone, you’re actually hurting your own argument.
When you think of a new point, you should take a minute to digest that idea—to see if it really fits with your argument. But when you interrupt, you’re just blurting things out. You’re so focused on being heard that you’re not paying attention to the actual points you’re making.
5. Avoid Conversational Bullies
Sometimes, you’ll get into an argument with someone determined to make you look bad. They might care more about proving you wrong than proving themselves right.
This type of person is called a conversational bully. They’re the ones who frame you in the most negative light possible, who twist your words and make it seem like you’re saying terrible things.
Conversational bullies will even attack your character just for having opinions different from theirs. So, how do you avoid embarrassing yourself when a bully starts tearing your argument apart?
Well, the best thing you can do is avoid conflict. Don’t raise your voice. Don’t let them know you’re getting emotional or that they’re getting under your skin. One particular technique conversational bullies use trips up amateur debaters all the time. This technique is called “So you’re saying…” and it’s actually pretty simple.
After you make a point, a bully will reframe your ideas in a way that sounds similar but significantly worse. And most of the time, people fall right into their trap.
They start floundering to defend their argument without realizing the bully has changed what they’re saying. They end up arguing for a skewed version of their original idea—and may even accidentally support things they don’t believe in.
So, if you run into someone who puts words in your mouth, don’t let them get the best of you. Simply tell them that they’re misrepresenting or oversimplifying what you’re saying—then calmly repeat yourself.
6. Abandon Ship
No matter how much you want to do the right thing, an argument might devolve into a lose-lose situation. You might have zero knowledge about the subject you’re arguing about, or maybe the person you’re arguing with is just trying to make you look bad.
If you get sucked into this kind of negative situation, don’t feel pressured to stick around. You don’t need to participate in an argument. If you’re just going to walk away feeling embarrassed and annoyed, it’s not worth your trouble.
So, instead of sinking along with the ship, get out early. Don’t give your opponent the chance to bully you or throw your own opinions in your face. Tell them you don’t want to argue, and simply walk away.
If you do take this approach, remember to walk away at the very beginning. The longer you sit there and argue, the harder it’ll be for you to leave—because ducking out mid-argument makes it look like you’re running away.
Even if you’re just trying to escape a bad situation, other people won’t see it that way. Your opponent will think they got the better of you. So, leave the room before the argument has a chance to get rolling. If you can do that, then you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.
Conclusion:
At the end of the day, not every argument is worth winning—and sometimes, the smartest move is to step back before things escalate. Whether you’re an introvert who prefers thoughtful discussions or someone who loves a good debate, mastering these techniques ensures you’ll hold your ground with confidence.
So next time tensions rise, remember: staying composed, staying on topic, and knowing when to walk away will always make you look sharper than your opponent.
Sources:
https://www.thescienceexplorer.com/neuroscience-tips-to-remain-calm-in-an-argument-720
https://www.acsu.buffalo.edu/~jbeebe2/Logic.htm
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201408/6-ways-win-any-argument
https://time.com/5318965/how-to-win-an-argument
Founder and CEO of Lifestyleflux.com, I bring years of expertise in self-improvement, wellness, and personal development to help you lead a happier, more balanced life. Through practical insights, eBooks, and consultations, I share actionable strategies rooted in experience and a passion for empowering others to unlock their full potential.